Sit down

Almost 2 years ago now, I left the pharmaceutical industry and since then, I have been housewife, parttime coding supervisor, errand girl, firewood getter, and gardener. Sitting still has been sinful and slovenly. Any spare minute where I would sit in my chair and look out at the mountains was riddled with guilt. Changing this mentality has been the first adjustment in this Summer Institute. It seems that several times a day, someone is asking me to sit, zen like, brain blank, listen, observe. In the meantime, the lists of tasks for when I get home lengthen and become convoluted the longer I'm allowed to sit on my own. I swat at mosquitos. I sweat. I shift my now soaked butt. I can no more focus on the question at hand than a cat can help shedding.

I'm also learning to write more spontaneously. Someone says to me, "WRITE NOW" and my mind goes blank. Sentences become stilted and elementary. I write things like "I am from the woods."

I've also learned a great deal about what makes for a "sense of place" for me. It takes me a long time. I go out into the woods with the task of finding something to observe and describe and I look for places like my home in RI- something with roots (with a capital 'R'), with a nook to sit in, with shelter. I am still musing on this.

And so, for the moment, I learn more about myself than what's around me, but I progress. Slower than my classmates, but I'm learning. Perhaps you can teach an old laina new tricks